Nick Packard, LICSW, Advent’s School Counselor, offers advice to caregivers on how to check-in with kids after big, sometimes scary news events.

Last week, I led a conversation for our community about how we can support children when there are scary events in the news. These events can be upsetting, and it is not always possible to shield children from hearing about what has happened. We, as caregivers, are better able to react thoughtfully and intentionally when we have a plan.

This is a heavy topic, but it is one that I encourage adults in to think about now rather than in the highly-emotional moments after an event. It is easier to process our thoughts about having this talk with our kids when we discuss them in general terms rather than in the aftermath of a specific incident.

When you have decided to speak with your child about the news, it is important to monitor your own emotions. Children look to adults for cues on how to think and feel. They are highly tuned to caregivers. It is OK to share that you are sad or upset while understanding that bigger displays of emotion may be frightening. Remember, if you can maintain a calm presence, your children will be calmer too.

To open a conversation, asking your children what they already know can be helpful. Children often hear bits and pieces of news and don’t have the whole story, and their fears might be based on incomplete or inaccurate information. Media often plays up the scariest and most upsetting elements of stories. Ask your child what they are thinking and feeling about the event. You can better respond to your child’s needs when you understand their baseline.

Following a scary event in the news, it is essential to maintain your family’s routines. Especially in uncertain times, it is comforting for a child to be able to know what to expect: Keeping routines supports a sense of safety. Be mindful of maintaining routines around eating, sleeping, and school.

Talking with your kids about current events is a complicated and emotional subject; these ideas are by no means exhaustive. I encourage you to reach out to me with questions at npackard@adventschool.org.